Guilt and Shame

MM,

I have never been very good at keeping with writing blogs or keeping up with other people's blogs.  I have always felt bad about this because everyone else seems to be able to do it.  Because I feel like I am failing for not finishing something I have started.  But then I realized that in the last year.  I have been putting my bookclub, my spiritual group, my family, my beautiful Goddess daughter Mia and my calling ahead of blogging.  When I sit back and weigh those things against a blog I have nothing to feel guilty about.

When I was growing up I was taught to feel guilty, to feel shame and that I was unimportant.  I was sent this message over and over again, until it was it was so ingrained, so apart of my psyche that I wasn't aware of it and never questioned it.  One of the hardest things for me to learn is that it is not my job to carry other people's crosses.  It is not my job to take on the cosmic lessons that were intended for others to learn.  I am not Jesus and it is not my calling to bear the weight of the world.  I love my friends and my family and all that the Divine resides in, but sometimes loving means not doing the work for them and just doing my own.

Off To See The Whisperer!

MM,

I am very excited about tomorrow because Jeffery, Leia and I are going to go to the Cesar Millan Event at the Pet Valu in Cabbagetown.  Unfortunately, he is there for only an hour and a half and I worry that there will be so many people that even though I somehow managed to get the day off work that we will not be able to see him.  I admit I would be heartbroken now that I have gone to the trouble of taking time off work, getting Leia facial trim and building it up in my head if I don't get to meet Cesar.

WhatI It Means To Meet Them

This weekend I had the pleasure of joining my loving husband at our first Fan Expo in Toronto.  I'll be honest for the most part I was completely disappointed.  Between the complete lack of organization and surprising lack of organization, I spent the majority of the expo just following Jeff around the vendors floor.  But all of that didn't matter in the end because I had the extreme pleasure of attending the Q & A with Stan Lee, as well as the signing afterwards.  I have always looked up to him and while no I didn't totally mark over the meeting, I was incredibly impressed that he acknowledge our thank yous.  Also, even though he had a million more to do, he allowed Jeff to take a quick pic as he slide the autograph to the handler to hand to Jeff.  It was a dream come true.
I also really enjoyed the sketching duals between Steven McNiven and Ethan Van Sciver, and Doug Mahnke and Francis Manapul.   Jeff and I were told that these were the real gems of the expo and they absolutely are.  Ethan Van Sciver is hilarious, but listening to him, you could really tell how intelligent he is.  I was blown away by their brilliant talent.  I really want to go back through my comics to see if I have any of their work, just so I can better appreciate.

So Proud!

On Friday, my younger brother is graduating from B.A.S.H.A. in New Hampshire.  I'm so proud of him.  He has never been school friendly, but he found his passion and hasn't turned back.  Congratulations Phil!

Blows My Mind!

I don't want to use this blog to cause drama, but sometimes when I hear or see something that really bothers I feel the need to talk about it.  Today a friend of mine told me about something that her partner said/did that was just really heartbreaking and inconsiderate.  What he said/did is between them and that is not for me to  blog.  But I am just astounded by how inconsiderate he was and I cannot understand how anyone can be so inconsiderate to someone that they are supposed to love.  Mind you I cannot understand how people can be so inconsiderate as a whole.  There are times when we are all inconsiderate, but there is a difference between the small, unintended inconsiderations and those that really hurt people.  I really hope for the best for my friend.

How Do You Know When To Say Something . . .

I have a confession to make I am compulsive helper.  I do not know if others would consider it helping or being intrusive.  After having fallen down so many times myself, I cannot bare to watch others do the same.  When I am watching television or a movie and I know a character is about to brutally embarrass themselves or make a big mistake, I have to mute it and cover my eyes or just change the channel.  Don't worry I completely recognize that the characters are not real people and they are not really being embarrassed.  Just the thought of someone else being embarrassed or hurt really strikes me.  It is for this reason when I see someone who is about to crash and burn I feel the urge to jump in and try and save them from getting hurt.  But where is the line between helping and being intrusive?  Where is the line between allowing someone to make their own mistakes and watching them crash and burn?  When is it okay to say something?

One Life's Greatest And Most Beautiful Marvels!

This is my goddess/goddaughter who is one of the newest loves of my life.  She is truly a shiny, shiny star that lights up my world and I love her very much.  I feel truly blessed and honoured to have been chosen to be a part of her life.  Thank you Ella and Luca for trusting me with what is most precious to you.