Friday, July 30, 2010
How Do You Know When To Say Something . . .
I have a confession to make I am compulsive helper. I do not know if others would consider it helping or being intrusive. After having fallen down so many times myself, I cannot bare to watch others do the same. When I am watching television or a movie and I know a character is about to brutally embarrass themselves or make a big mistake, I have to mute it and cover my eyes or just change the channel. Don't worry I completely recognize that the characters are not real people and they are not really being embarrassed. Just the thought of someone else being embarrassed or hurt really strikes me. It is for this reason when I see someone who is about to crash and burn I feel the urge to jump in and try and save them from getting hurt. But where is the line between helping and being intrusive? Where is the line between allowing someone to make their own mistakes and watching them crash and burn? When is it okay to say something?
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This is so hard...I am the same way (right down to covering eyes when a character on tv is going to be embarrassed!). And honestly I dont know where the line is.
ReplyDeleteThe best advice I can give is that if you feel this person is close enough to you to see you are just trying to be a friend, mention your concerns, but also let them know that you realize it is their choice ultimately and that you will be there for them either way. If you arent close enough to them.....no idea. Some people would say "you cant help everyone, so just let them figure it out themselves", others would still try to help. And others would simply turn away and then say "I told you so" when the sh*t does hit the fan.
Just follow your heart and allow them to follow theirs.